Skulduggery Pleasant  Attack of the Killer Nuns
by Jayde Phoenix
Summary: Valkrie starts at a family reunion, and finishes with fighting for her life... i know which one i'd rather,  not the reunion lolz  enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Skulduggery Pleasant – Attack of the Killer Nuns! –**

**Chapter 1:**

Valkyrie was bored. Valkyrie was always bored at family reunions, but Skulduggery had told her to go. He had said that family was important, and that she should _cherish _every moment with them. _Yeah right_ she thought, _cherish every moment with a room full of drunken weirdos! _Her father was talking to some distant relative, and her mother was nowhere to be seen. _She probably slipped out when no one was looking… _Valkyrie thought. Beryl was on the far side of the room, bragging about herself, and her husband Fergus, was slipping silverware and various other valuable possessions into his pockets when he thought no one was watching. The 'toxic twins' were shooting her snooty, dirty looks from where they were sitting, but Valkyrie had never really cared for them much anyway.

_Why did Skulduggery make me come to this stupid reunion anyway?_ Valkyrie thought.

A faint beeping sound alerted her, and she snatched up her phone off the table, and pressed the answer button.

"Hello." She said, automatically.

"Meet me out front, ill be there in ten." Skulduggery replied.

"What's the – "

The line went dead.

"I hate it when he does that…" she muttered to herself.

Valkyrie got up to leave, but before she could walk more than a few steps, Carrol and Crystal blocked her path.

"What do you want?" she said coldly.

"Oh, just to tell you that you look like a tramp." Carrol sneered, "You're never going to find a boyfriend looking like _that_!"

"Yeah," Crystal chimed in, "no wonder you don't have any friends. They all ran away in fright when they saw how ugly you look!"

Carrol and Crystal's tauntings had never really bothered Valkyrie. She knew that they were selfish, obnoxious, and full of themselves, just like their parents, but Skulduggery was bound to arrive at any minute, and it sounded as though there was trouble, so she flexed her hand slightly, and Crystal lost her balance. Carrol helped Crystal back up, but by the time they had turned to pick on Valkyrie again, she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

"What's the matter?" Valkyrie demanded, getting into the passenger seat of the Bentley. She loved the Bentley, its soft leather seats were warm and comfortable, and it drove smoothly… or maybe that was just Skulduggery's driving…

"There have been some vicious attacks." Skulduggery answered, rounding a corner.

"How many?"

"Only two. Last night and the night before. Twelve dead…"

"_Twelve_ dead? You're kidding?"

"I'm afraid not Valkyrie…"

"Any idea who did it?"

"The timing's right for werewolves…"

"But…?"

"But, it's not uncommon for vampires to attack during the phases of the moon…"

"So you think it's either a vampire or a werewolf?"

"Yes… unless of course it isn't…"

"So it could be a blood-thirsty psychopath for all we know?"

"Yes… yes it could…"

He stopped outside her house, and she got out. She manipulated the air around her, and caught the window sill as she rocketed up. She clambered through the window, and put on the garments that Ghastly had made her, before letting the reflection out of the mirror, and joining Skulduggery again.

"So… where are we going?" she asked.

"church." He answered simply.

When they arrived, Valkyrie was stunned. The church, if it was a church, looked noting like a church. A large graveyard surrounded three out of four sides of the church. The other side, on which they now stood, lead to the church's only door, the path to the door however, was choaked with weeds and dead plants. Valkyrie passed a sign, but most of the letters were too faded to read. All she could make out was:

BE

Children of Mother

Those enter

will to please the hands

of our

and your

"It doesn't really make much sense, does it?" voiced Tanith, coming up behind them, "thanks for the call, I got here a few minutes ago, so I had a look around, but I cant seem to figure this one out…"

"Hmm… it is a puzzle indeed…" murmured Skulduggery.

"Could the first line be 'beware'?" questioned Valkyrie.

"We'd better hope not." Ghastly growled from behind.

He put his fingers to his neck, and instantly his scars started sinking back into his skin.

"That façade tattoo china gave you sure is useful…" murmured Tanith.

They trudged the rest of the way up the path, Valkyrie stopping occasionally to untangle herself from the thorns and briars that snagged on the legs of her pants. Finally after what felt like forever, they approached the steps of the church. Skulduggery raised a bony hand and knocked on the door, with the ancient brass knocker. After a moment, the door creaked open, and Skulduggery titled his head to one side.

"Odd…" he murmured, before clicking his fingers, and summoning a small flame, and without a backwards glance, he walked into the dark church.


End file.
